A writer has an innate gift of expressing feelings in words that others can relate to. But, as with any great gift, it has a down side. Sometimes it takes great courage to be able to step outside ourselves and just look at where we are – to ask these questions you are asking. We have all asked ourselves these things, at one time or another. So, we can relate to your words because we have been there as well. There is comfort in that knowing, that someone else has been here, where I am in this moment and has survived!
You are a writer. It is what gives you Joy! That is what we should be doing – what give us Joy. That is our Gift to the World. Every time you write, you are fulfilling your destiny by expressing your gifts.
Those with great creative gifts most often find life difficult. The outer life, the struggle to provide themselves with shelter, food and other necessities of living, seems to take away from the time they feel they should have free to express their creativity. And yet, it is the struggle itself that is providing the material for their art!
In looking back, I can see that. I have accumulated enough material for a whole library of stories, most of which would have to be classified as fiction, because few would believe they could be true! It has taken a lifetime to discover that I, myself, created the challenges in order to develop the sensitivity that was necessary to understand suffering – to develop Compassion!
If I were in your place now and had it all to do over, I would keep that in mind. I am feeling unworthy so that I can know what it is like to FEEL unworthy! Maybe that is all it is about, after all! In that way, I can truthfully express what the character in my Novel is experiencing. What a sense of freedom it gives one to discover that TRUTH. It has never been about “me”, after all.