Carry on, Dear One. Let yourself Be. Give all the heartache/torment/anguish up to the Light, your Angels, your Lord, your Savior – to whatever you call your Higher Self.
There is no need to even be concerned, now. For it is past the time of any reckoning, if there ever was a time for such. All that is left to do at this point is to simply let the residue, the fragments of the old, no longer needed patterns/habits/programs dissipate and return to Source to be recycled.
There also seems to be a residue of memories of emotional and physical trauma, old regrets and resentments. It is so hard to understand why they even occurred, how those loved ones could treat you so badly! Yet, Beloved, these must be released as well, for you to move forward – for you to be free to move on. It is not that your suffering meant so little as to be ignored, or forgotten. Instead, it is that the sensations of such experiences are just other old, obsolete programs which need to be deleted. They served you well, it is so, but now their purpose is no longer of value. “So, how”, you may ask, “did they serve me?” Simply to teach by example – to teach compassion, to teach Love, to teach forgiveness, to teach detachment….
TO TEACH DETACHMENT.
The “Whys” are of the Ego, Beloved, and not of the Spirit, not of the Soul, not of the HEART. The gift of the Higher Self is Acceptance, is Peace, is Wisdom. Your Higher Self will speak to you through your HEART. It will tell you to release these Burdens now. They weigh you down. They hold you back. It is time to let it all go and soar free.